Philosophy will save my life

I spent the long Easter weekend in Tasmania visiting my friend, and caught up with some very old friends for a very beautiful and inspiring time, but mainly I want to talk about what I did last night. A while ago I signed up for a mailing list from the Sydney Uni Philosophy Department that tells you all the philosophy events on in town. I had no idea there were so many -- I get messages basically every day. I keep meaning to go to some evening talked on the 2nd Tuesday of each month, but they're on the other side of the bridge and all and you have to rsvp and pay, in addition to getting there and back, so slackness always wins out. But then I saw one at the Gaelic Club, which is right on my way home from work, and the topic looked interesting, and so I endeavoured to go.

Nearly didn't make it, again from slackness and also from fear of the unknown -- who would be there? Would it be intimidating? Would all the people be weird and needy? Would they be opinionated and stupid, and I'd have to sit for three hours and listen to them rant? But I thought, just go, Ellen. Also, I'm looking into Speed Dating at the insistence of my counsellor, and thought, I should go to one real event with real people that's about something, and is something I'm interested in and good at etc., before I go to something cattle call and meat markety like that.

So I did, took the long walk up the stairs and found the group, and was greeted warmly by the convenor. The people weren't old, or weird, or stupid. They were all quite thoroughly trained, and had very smart and insightful things to say. The format makes it quite comfortable, and also really interesting, and you're moved to really listen because your turn to talk for three minutes will always come up.

I probably bragged too much, showed off. I'm sure everyone there is more credentialled than I am. And there was absolutely no "Who are you, where are you from, what do you do", which is probably in the spirit of pure inquiry and equal voice that informs the group.

I went to dinner afterwards and was so tired, and it was so hard to get up this morning, but it was so great! Just hours and hours of the kind of discussion I used to take for granted -- dorm room stuff, staff club lunch stuff. I was so glad of my training and education. We touched on every single big topic in philosophy, and I of course came around to the question that has always gripped me -- in what sense does the number 8 exist? What is the ontological status of formal systems (of course words, not numbers, really move me, but the same answer answers both questions). And I realised why I went into the field, because the work on that question is really technical and rarified and not something you'd ever do a Philorum presentation on.

Anyway, it was like coming home again. Gave me perspective at work all day. Made me feel older, and capable, and less worried about my hair. I have signed up for a Dialectic in the botanic gardens on Saturday, with the convener who seems a very smart and interesting guy. They meet all the time, and it sounds like there's a good core group, who also attend other talks around town on the circuit.

So, although I've been many years out of the game, a Philosopher is still what I am. And my people are still out there. You don't need the academy. You don't need any money at all!

If I can keep going, it just may save my life. (And we'll worry about finding true love...later!)