way back
Tonight I had dinner with a friend who lives overseas, and his girlfriend. Sounds straightforward, doesn't it? But the friend and girlfriend, although employed overseas, are actually working in Canberra and then are being put up in Sydney for a few weeks by Sydney University. So he kind of lives in town, and in country, rather than overseas although that's not who's paying their wages. And he's a friend now, definitely a friend, but he started out as a student of mine. I thought he had been an Honours student (trans. for Yanks - the fourth year you do after your 3-year bachelor's degree, and depending on your results you get to go on to a PhD or not), but after comparing notes realised he had taken some of my undergrad classes, including an early-morning Philosophy of Language.
So we go way back.
In fact, I most likely met him in my very first week in Brisbane, because the Australian conference was on and that's when I met everybody. So that's 15 years ago, 15 years exactly in a little more than a week.
I live in Sydney, but I haven't lived in Sydney for that long, and I live alone in Sydney, and although I have quite a few friends I don't have any bestest friends, something which I'm sure I whinge about here all the time. I come home to a house on my own and I don't have anyone to cry upon or pour me a drink when I've had a rough day at work, or to hear the "And then he said..." narratives of my romantic life. I've only lived here since 2001, which for here is not that long, and while I have friends in Sydney I don't have best friends.
But this guy and I, we go way back. We talked about people I hadn't even thought about for ten years. He's been traipsing around the world seeing people I have thought about but have seen for ages and ages. And he knew me when I was part of the world that he now lives in, in fact occupies a really prominent and successful spot in. We always knew he had talent, and that he'd probably hit the big-time, even though his orientation was in sort of old-timey metaphysics (still is, but it's come back in vogue). Now he has truly hit the big-time. He has PhD students of his own. He writes recommendation letters for people who are looking for jobs. He has at least one book out, maybe more. He gets asked to review things. He knows everybody. He gets put up in Sydney for weeks on end, just to hang around and give talks and do research and things. Big time. And he's got a very high-powered academic girlfriend too, and they've got two positions in the same place and have been collaborating on articles.
It was lovely to see them. I asked what sort of cuisine they don't get enough of at home, and we settled on Lebanese, and we went down to my fave place on the corner and for most of the time were the only ones there (the weather had warned everyone to stay in if possible tonight because a cyclone-force storm is supposed to hit the coast (except it's not due in Sydney until early in the morning), and so they did, and the restaurant was empty but for us). We naturally had all kinds of things to talk about, and hopefully didn't just name-drop about the old days so the girlfriend wasn't too bored. He said at the end that I looked really good, and look like I'm doing really well - and I so don't, I've had black eyes and a red nose for weeks because of the weather and tiredness, and have horribly bloodshot eyes from having to do much testing of a form at work this evening. But it was nice of him to say, and hopefully he was responding to some background strength and good-doingness of mine that shows through the surface tiredness.
Nobody else around has known me for that long, or knows me in that capacity. Really knew me in that life. I guess someone who was a student really knows what I used to think and teach, more than even my colleagues would have (this guy did exams in it!). And someone who's so high up in the profession now appreciates what it must have been like to be at San Diego when I was, back when all those folks were there. So he knows me not just from way back but in a certain context and with a certain set of his own credentials for understanding what it means. Which is weird. Because I don't get to walk around the world as that girl very often. But she's me, or one of me, anyway.
And it was nice to see this friend and be her for a little while!
And then it was nice to see this friend.
And he looks really good and looks like he's doing very well as well.
And his girlfriend is lovely.
So we go way back.
In fact, I most likely met him in my very first week in Brisbane, because the Australian conference was on and that's when I met everybody. So that's 15 years ago, 15 years exactly in a little more than a week.
I live in Sydney, but I haven't lived in Sydney for that long, and I live alone in Sydney, and although I have quite a few friends I don't have any bestest friends, something which I'm sure I whinge about here all the time. I come home to a house on my own and I don't have anyone to cry upon or pour me a drink when I've had a rough day at work, or to hear the "And then he said..." narratives of my romantic life. I've only lived here since 2001, which for here is not that long, and while I have friends in Sydney I don't have best friends.
But this guy and I, we go way back. We talked about people I hadn't even thought about for ten years. He's been traipsing around the world seeing people I have thought about but have seen for ages and ages. And he knew me when I was part of the world that he now lives in, in fact occupies a really prominent and successful spot in. We always knew he had talent, and that he'd probably hit the big-time, even though his orientation was in sort of old-timey metaphysics (still is, but it's come back in vogue). Now he has truly hit the big-time. He has PhD students of his own. He writes recommendation letters for people who are looking for jobs. He has at least one book out, maybe more. He gets asked to review things. He knows everybody. He gets put up in Sydney for weeks on end, just to hang around and give talks and do research and things. Big time. And he's got a very high-powered academic girlfriend too, and they've got two positions in the same place and have been collaborating on articles.
It was lovely to see them. I asked what sort of cuisine they don't get enough of at home, and we settled on Lebanese, and we went down to my fave place on the corner and for most of the time were the only ones there (the weather had warned everyone to stay in if possible tonight because a cyclone-force storm is supposed to hit the coast (except it's not due in Sydney until early in the morning), and so they did, and the restaurant was empty but for us). We naturally had all kinds of things to talk about, and hopefully didn't just name-drop about the old days so the girlfriend wasn't too bored. He said at the end that I looked really good, and look like I'm doing really well - and I so don't, I've had black eyes and a red nose for weeks because of the weather and tiredness, and have horribly bloodshot eyes from having to do much testing of a form at work this evening. But it was nice of him to say, and hopefully he was responding to some background strength and good-doingness of mine that shows through the surface tiredness.
Nobody else around has known me for that long, or knows me in that capacity. Really knew me in that life. I guess someone who was a student really knows what I used to think and teach, more than even my colleagues would have (this guy did exams in it!). And someone who's so high up in the profession now appreciates what it must have been like to be at San Diego when I was, back when all those folks were there. So he knows me not just from way back but in a certain context and with a certain set of his own credentials for understanding what it means. Which is weird. Because I don't get to walk around the world as that girl very often. But she's me, or one of me, anyway.
And it was nice to see this friend and be her for a little while!
And then it was nice to see this friend.
And he looks really good and looks like he's doing very well as well.
And his girlfriend is lovely.
posted by Ellen at 10:22 pm
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