How big is the moon tonight?

I found my keys! I swear I searched the bag they were in quite thoroughly, twice, and checked every pocket, but tonight just as I was getting ready to leave work, there they were, in a side pocket. So, the only thing I can assume is that they were on a little holiday in another dimension. But now they are back, and it's quite a relief.

I have a theory about the muffin, too. I think the young server was practicing misdirection of attention on me - I said, "can I have a muffin?" and he said, "sure!" and immediately turned his back and leaned down and did something around the area where they had a microwave and a toaster oven, so I think he planted in me the idea that he was putting my muffin in one of those to heat up. I think it was a magic trick. And when I asked, "and my muffin?" he did the reveal, "Voilá!" and pointed to my hand to show it was already there, just like a magician will reach inside someone's pocket and show that they all along had the Ace of Hearts there. I should have applauded and thrown him some coins.