imaginary conversation with a dentist

me: I have a sore tooth, this one up here, see how the gum has receded a bit? It used to be just sensitive to cold, but now it's sensitive to both hot and cold.

dentist: Do you floss every day?

me: I floss a lot...

dentist: You need to floss every single day, and make sure you use a soft brush and use strokes down, like this, not back and forth. And use a toothpaste for sensitive teeth, only, like this one, this one's good.

me: (thinks - I hate that sensitive teeth toothpaste. No way I'm ever using that.)

dentist: You need to do all these things, every single day, or else.

me: I know. My body is completely fucked, and I'm going to live a life of continuous pain, from now until I, finally, thankfully, die. I know. It's all fucked. I'm completely fucked because I didn't floss, and because I used to brush my teeth side to side. (and then I grin)